Is there anything more piercing than the sound of your baby crying? It triggers an immediate biological response in parents; your heart races, your stress levels spike, and you just want to fix it.
Sometimes, the solution is simple. A diaper change or a feeding restores peace instantly. But other times, you might find yourself pacing the floor with a red-faced, screaming infant, wondering what on earth is wrong.
It is exhausting, frustrating, and heartbreaking all at once. If you are currently in the trenches with a fussy baby, take a deep breath. We have compiled expert-approved tips and soothing techniques to help you decode the tears, calm your little one, and bring the smiles back.
Key Takeaways
- Common Triggers: Babies cry to communicate hunger, wet diapers, fatigue, overstimulation, gas, temperature discomfort, or pain from teething.
- Soothing Strategy: Attempt to replicate the womb environment using the “5 S’s” approach: swaddling, side/stomach position, shushing (white noise), swinging, and sucking.
- Change the Scenery: Fresh air, a ride in the car, or a warm bath can reset a baby’s nervous system and stop a crying spell.
- Parental Self-Care: If you feel overwhelmed, it is safe to place the baby in a crib for 10 minutes to compose yourself; a calm parent is better able to soothe a baby.
Why Is My Baby Crying?
Babies are not trying to be difficult; they are just trying to communicate. Since they cannot talk, they cry to tell you something is off. Here are the most common culprits.
1. Your Baby Is Hungry
Hunger is the most common reason for newborn tears. Their stomachs are tiny, so they need to refill the tank frequently.
You can often catch this before the crying starts by watching for early hunger cues. Your baby might smack their lips, suck on their hands, or “root” (turn their head toward your hand when you stroke their cheek). Responding to these signs early can prevent a full-blown meltdown.
2. Your Baby Has Gas or Colic
Tummy troubles are a major source of misery. If your baby pulls their legs up to their chest and cries intensely, especially in the late afternoon or evening, it could be gas or colic.
Colic is often defined by the “rule of threes”: crying for at least three hours a day, three days a week, for three consecutive weeks. While the exact cause is a mystery, it is often linked to a developing digestive system (1).
Even without full-blown colic, swallowed air can cause painful pressure. This happens during crying spells or feedings. Whether you are breastfeeding or using anti-colic bottles, take time to burp your baby frequently to release that trapped air.
3. It Is Diaper Time
Some babies do not mind a wet diaper, while others act as if it is the end of the world. A quick peek or a sniff test is an easy way to rule this out. A clean diaper often solves the problem instantly.
4. Your Baby Is Overtired
It seems logical that a tired baby would just fall asleep, right? Unfortunately, babies often do the opposite. When they stay awake past their “sleep window,” their bodies produce cortisol and adrenaline, making it harder for them to settle down.
If your baby is yawning, rubbing their eyes, or staring blankly, get them to bed immediately before the overtired fussiness sets in.
5. Your Baby Needs Cuddles
The world is a big, scary place for a tiny human. Sometimes, they just want to be held. They want to smell your scent, hear your heartbeat, and feel secure.
Do not worry about “spoiling” a newborn by holding them too much; it is simply not possible. Responding to their need for connection builds trust and security (2).
6. Your Baby Is Hot or Cold
Babies cannot regulate their body temperature as well as adults can. If they are bundled up too tightly or the room is drafty, they will let you know.
Check their tummy or the back of their neck. If it feels sweaty or hot, remove a layer. If it is cool to the touch, add a layer. Do not judge by their hands or feet, as those extremities usually feel cooler than the rest of their body.
A good way to determine if your infant is too cold is to look at their hands and feet. If they feel cold and look a bit pale, the blood vessels are constricting in the hands and feet to prevent heat loss from the rest of the body. Adding a warmer onesie or an additional layer of clothing can resolve this issue. On the contrary, if your baby’s skin looks “flushed” and sweaty, this is a sign that they are wearing one layer too many.
Editor's Note:
Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP7. A “Hair Tourniquet” or Pain
If your baby is crying inconsolably and you cannot find a reason, check their toes, fingers, and penis. A stray hair or thread from a sock can wrap around these areas, cutting off circulation. This is called a “hair tourniquet,” and it is very painful.
Also, check for other irritants like a scratching clothing tag, a zipper pinching their skin, or a diaper tab that is too tight.
8. There Is a Tooth Coming Through
Teething can turn a happy baby into a grumpy one very quickly. The pressure of a tooth pushing through the gums hurts.
In clinical practice, I usually begin to see discomfort from teething around 6 months old. Before this age, there can be lots of drooling and chewing on fingers or other objects, but the baby is calm and happy. This kind of pain can be present for a few consecutive days, then subside. Teething can be a source of discomfort every few weeks until after the second birthday when the last set of molars erupts.
Editor's Note:
Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAPIf your baby is drooling excessively and gnawing on everything, check their gums. If you see a swollen red bump or feel a hard spot, that is likely the culprit. You can offer a cold washcloth or a teething toy to gnaw on. Always ask your pediatrician before using numbing gels, as many are no longer recommended due to safety concerns.
9. Sensory Overload
Bright lights, loud TVs, passing around from relative to relative; it can all be too much. When a baby’s nervous system gets overwhelmed, they cry to shut out the world.
If your baby turns their head away or avoids eye contact, they are signaling that they are done. They need a break from the stimulation.
10. Your Baby Is Bored
On the flip side, older babies might cry because they want interaction. If they have been staring at the same ceiling fan for 20 minutes, they might be demanding a change of scenery.
11. Your Baby Is Sick
If you have met all their basic needs and the crying persists, check for signs of illness. Look for a fever (anything over 100.4°F in a baby under 3 months needs immediate medical attention), vomiting, or unusual stool.
Trust your gut. You know your baby best. If their cry sounds different (like a pained whimper) or they seem lethargic, call your doctor (3).
13 Ways You Can Soothe Your Baby
You have checked the diaper, offered a feed, and ruled out a fever. They are still crying. Now it is time to cycle through your soothing toolkit.
1. The Swaddle
Swaddling triggers a feeling of security by mimicking the tight quarters of the womb. It also prevents the Moro reflex (startle reflex) from waking them up.
Ensure the swaddle is snug around the arms but loose around the hips to prevent hip dysplasia (4). If your baby fights having their arms down, try a “hands up” swaddle sack.
2. Suckling
The urge to suck is a powerful self-soothing mechanism. It releases calming hormones in the brain.
If the baby is not hungry, a pacifier can work wonders. If you are breastfeeding, experts usually suggest waiting until nursing is well-established (around 3 to 4 weeks) to avoid nipple confusion, though this varies by baby (5).
3. Babywearing
Babywearing is a game-changer. Placing your baby in a carrier or sling provides constant motion, body heat, and the sound of your heartbeat.
It often puts babies to sleep quickly while leaving your hands free to grab a snack or fold laundry. Ensure their airway is always visible and clear.
4. Rhythmic Motion
Babies are used to constant movement from their time in the womb. Sitting still can feel unnatural to them.
Use a nursery glider, a rocking chair, or even a yoga ball. Gently bouncing on a yoga ball while holding the baby is a favorite trick of many parents. Just remember that if your baby falls asleep in a swing or bouncer, it is safest to move them to their crib to prevent SIDS (6).
5. White Noise
The womb is louder than a vacuum cleaner. Silence can actually be unsettling to a newborn.
Use a white noise machine, a fan, or even a loud “Shhhhh” sound near their ear. The noise needs to be fairly loud (about the volume of a shower) to be effective during a crying spell (7).
6. Sing a Song
Your baby loves your voice more than any other sound. You do not need to be a pop star; a low, rhythmic hum or a simple lullaby can break the tension. The vibration of your chest against their body as you hum can also be very calming.
7. Water Therapy
The sensation of warm water can interrupt the crying cycle. Try a warm bath; the change in temperature and environment might reset their mood. You can add a drop of chamomile oil to a diffuser in the room, but avoid putting essential oils directly in the bath water for infants.
Alternatively, the sound of running water helps some babies. Simply standing in the bathroom with the shower running can act as high-powered white noise.
8. Infant Massage
Touch is healing. Undress your baby (keep the room warm) and use a baby-safe lotion to gently massage their limbs and back.
Stroke from the center of their body outward. If they are gassy, try the “I Love U” stroke on their tummy to help move gas bubbles along the digestive tract.
9. The Colic Hold
Also known as the “football hold,” this position puts gentle pressure on the baby’s tummy, which can relieve gas pain.
Lay your baby stomach-down along your forearm, with their head resting in your hand and their legs straddling your elbow. Rub their back with your other hand. This is often magic for gassy babies (8).
One over-the-counter product I recommend to parents to relieve colic is simethicone drops. These have been clinically shown to reduce the size of gas bubbles in the intestines, relieving gas pressure and pain (9).
Editor's Note:
Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP10. Get Outside
Fresh air and a change of light can snap a baby out of a funk. Pop them in the stroller and walk around the block.
If the weather is bad, the “car ride cure” is a classic for a reason. The vibration of the car combined with the white noise of the road puts many babies right to sleep.
11. Distraction
Sometimes you just need to break the pattern. Dance around the living room, make funny faces, or inspect the mirror together. Babies love looking at faces, especially their own.
12. Decrease Stimulation
If you suspect overstimulation, do the opposite of distraction. Turn off the TV, dim the lights, and stop talking. Go into a dark, quiet room and sit silently with your baby. This “sensory fast” allows their nervous system to recover.
13. The Tap Out
If you feel your anger rising or you are afraid you might lose control, put the baby down in a safe place (like the crib) and walk away for 10 minutes.
Call your partner, a friend, or a neighbor to take over for a bit. Crying will not hurt your baby, but a stressed, frantic parent cannot soothe them effectively. Take a moment to regroup; you are doing a great job.
FAQs
What Are the 3 Types of Baby Cries?
While every baby is unique, experts often categorize cries into three main types: the “hungry” cry (rhythmic and repetitive), the “angry/tired” cry (louder and more turbulent), and the “pain” cry (a sudden, piercing shriek followed by a long pause as the baby holds their breath).
How Long Should You Let a Baby Cry?
For newborns under 4 months, you should respond to cries immediately to build trust and attachment. As babies get older (4-6 months+), some parents choose to use sleep training methods that involve short intervals of crying, but this is a personal choice. If you ever feel overwhelmed, it is safe to let a baby cry for 10-15 minutes while you calm down.
What Should You Not Do When a Baby Is Crying?
Never shake a baby; this can cause severe brain damage or death. Do not scream at the baby or let your frustration dictate your physical handling of them. Avoid overfeeding (unless they are truly hungry), as this can cause more stomach pain, and avoid adding loud noises or chaotic movement if the baby is already overstimulated.
What Age Do Babies Cry the Most?
Crying typically peaks between 6 and 8 weeks of age. This is often called the “peak of crying” curve. Fortunately, for most babies, the crying episodes begin to decrease significantly by 3 to 4 months as their digestive and nervous systems mature.
What Is the Witching Hour?
The “witching hour” refers to a specific time of day, usually late afternoon to late evening (e.g., 5 p.m. to 11 p.m.), when an otherwise happy baby becomes extremely fussy and difficult to soothe. It is very common in newborns and is often linked to overstimulation from the day or a drop in milk supply for breastfeeding moms.
What Is Montessori Sleeping?
Montessori sleeping involves using a floor bed (a mattress directly on the floor) rather than a crib. The goal is to encourage independence and freedom of movement. The entire room must be completely baby-proofed to ensure safety since the child can get in and out of bed on their own.
What Is the Supernanny Sleep Technique?
The Supernanny method (the “Stay in Bed” technique) is for toddlers or older children, not infants. It involves a strict routine where you calmly and silently return the child to their bed every time they get out, with minimal interaction. It teaches the child that bedtime is non-negotiable without providing the “reward” of parental attention.
How Can I Help My Baby Self-Soothe?
Self-soothing is a developmental milestone that usually begins around 4 to 6 months. You can encourage it by establishing a consistent bedtime routine and putting the baby down while they are drowsy but still awake. This gives them the chance to drift off independently without relying on rocking or feeding to fall asleep.
