Cry It Out Method: Does It Work? Tips from a Pediatrician

Are you exhausted from the nightly zombie shuffle to the nursery? If you are still rocking, bouncing, or feeding your six-month-old to sleep every few hours, you are likely running on fumes. You might be wondering if it is time to try sleep training, specifically the “cry it out” method.

It is tough when your baby gets older but still demands the same night-waking attention as a newborn. My husband and I wore a path in the floorboards walking back and forth all night. After eight months of sleep deprivation, we decided to try sleep training. I spent hours diving into the research, consulting sleep experts, and learning from other parents to find a solution.

I will share the details on the cry it out (CIO) method to help you decide if it is the right tool to help your family finally get some rest.

What Is Sleep Training?

Sleep training is a broad term for the methods used to teach a baby to fall asleep on their own. The goal is to help them learn to self-soothe without needing you to rock, feed, or hold them to sleep.

Most sleep training techniques involve putting the child down while they are drowsy but awake. You then implement specific comfort strategies that do not involve picking them up. You watch the clock and allow them time to settle themselves before you intervene.

Some approaches allow you to touch the baby or speak soothingly, while others rely on leaving the room entirely.

Does this sound intense? It can be. It is often harder on the parents than it is on the child. There will be tears from both your baby and you. However, if you are prepared for a few difficult nights, perseverance usually pays off with better sleep for everyone.

How Does the Cry It Out Method Work?

The “Cry It Out” (CIO) method is often used as a blanket term, but it usually refers to “Graduated Extinction,” popularized by Dr. Richard Ferber. The theory is simple: if you allow your little one to cry for set periods before offering reassurance, they learn to fall asleep independently.

It does not mean you lock the door and leave your baby to scream all night without attention. It is a structured, timed approach.

The Ferber method suggests waiting until your baby is physically and emotionally ready to sleep through the night. This generally happens around 4 to 6 months old, though some babies may be ready sooner ⁽¹⁾.

Always clear your plan with your pediatrician before starting. Here is how the process works:

• The Setup: When your baby is sleepy but still awake, place them in their crib.
• The Exit: Kiss your child, say a cheerful “goodnight,” and leave the room.
• The Wait: If they start crying, wait for a specific interval of time (we will list suggested times below).
• The Check-In: Once the time is up, go back in for 1-2 minutes max. Reassure them with a calm voice and a pat, but do not pick them up. Leave while they are still awake, even if they are crying.
• The Extension: Stay out of the room for a slightly longer interval this time. Repeat the check-in process, gradually increasing the wait time until the baby falls asleep.
• The Repeat: If your baby wakes up later in the night, follow the same steps, starting with the minimum interval again.

Ferber suggests these specific wait times between nursery visits:

• Night One: 3 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 10 minutes (maximum for the rest of the night).
• Night Two: 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 12 minutes (maximum for the rest of the night).

Each subsequent night, you lengthen the intervals. Ideally, by the third or fourth night, your baby will soothe themselves to sleep. If your baby resists the process after a week, take a break for a few weeks and try again later.

When I recommend this sleep training method, I inform the parents that the first night is always the worst. It may take an hour and a half before the child falls asleep. With each subsequent night, the amount of time it takes until sleep onset should decrease.

I find that infants learn to self-soothe much faster than toddlers, usually only requiring five to seven nights of using the Ferber method. It can take two to four weeks for toddlers because some will have tantrums at bedtime.

Editor's Note:

Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP

You can also adjust this method for toddlers who have moved to a big kid bed and refuse to stay in their room.

Here are some additional tips from the AAP regarding safe sleep environments.

7 Tips for Sleep Training Success

Every child is unique. What works for your best friend’s baby might not work for yours. To give yourself the best shot at success, try these tips ⁽²⁾:

1. Establish a Bedtime Routine

A consistent routine signals to your baby’s brain that sleep is coming. You might bathe your baby, put on pajamas, read a short book, and sing a specific lullaby.

Do this in the same order at the same time every night. Do not deviate. This predictability helps reduce anxiety and prepares their body for rest.

2. Make a Plan with Your Partner

You and your partner need to be a united front. Agree on when to start and exactly what the intervals will be. Discuss who will go in for the check-ins.

Some parents alternate visits, while others prefer one parent to handle the early shift and the other to take the late shift. It helps to support each other when the crying gets loud and your resolve weakens.

Being “on the same page” is the only way this will be successful. I have had many families where one parent wants to do sleep training, and the other is perfectly happy to have the infant or toddler sleep in the family bed (which, for infants, is dangerous). This inconsistency also creates confusion for the child, making sleep training much more difficult.

Editor's Note:

Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP

Check your calendar before you start. Do not begin sleep training if you have family visiting, a vacation coming up, or a crazy work week. You need a clear schedule to make this work.

3. Stay Consistent

Once you start the timer, you have to stick to it. It is incredibly tempting to rush in and soothe them the moment they whimper, but that resets the clock.

Inconsistency teaches the baby that if they cry long enough, you will eventually cave. If you or your baby are not ready, it is better to stop completely and try again in a month rather than doing it halfway.

4. Expect Sleep Deprivation

Your sleep will be interrupted during the first few nights. Start on a Thursday or Friday if you work Monday through Friday, so you have the weekend to recover.

These nights are emotionally taxing. You might end up in tears yourself. Use a timer and go to a different part of the house where the crying is less intense during the wait intervals.

5. Distract Yourself

Staring at the baby monitor makes the minutes feel like hours. During the wait intervals, do something else. Listen to a podcast, fold laundry, or take a shower.

If you feel overwhelmed, tag-team with your partner. Go for a walk around the block while they monitor the timer. You need to stay calm to help your baby stay calm.

6. Be Flexible (Within Reason)

The Ferber times are suggestions, not laws. If 3 minutes feels too long for your 4-month-old, start with 1 minute. If checking in makes your baby angrier, you might need to space the visits out further.

You can adapt the method to suit your parenting style, provided you stick to the core principle of allowing them space to self-soothe.

7. Watch Out for Regressions

You might crack the code and enjoy a month of perfect sleep, only to have it fall apart. Illness, teething, travel, or developmental leaps can cause a relapse.

When this happens, comfort your baby as needed. Once they are healthy and back in their normal environment, re-implement the training. They usually pick it up much faster the second time around.

Cry It Out Method FAQs

Is the Cry It Out Method Effective?

Yes, the Cry It Out (CIO) method is effective for many families in teaching babies to fall asleep independently. Studies show it can significantly reduce night wakings and improve parental mental health. However, effectiveness depends on the child’s temperament and the parents’ ability to remain consistent.

When Should You Not Use the Ferber Method?

You should not use the Ferber method if your baby is under 4 months old, as they may still need night feedings. It is also not recommended if the child is ill, teething severely, or has special medical needs. Always consult your pediatrician if you are unsure.

Am I Hurting My Baby By Letting Him Cry?

No, research suggests that controlled crying methods do not damage the bond between parent and child or cause long-term emotional harm. The goal is to teach a skill, not to neglect the child. However, you should always respond immediately if the cry sounds like pain or extreme distress.

Is 2 Hours Too Long to Cry it Out?

Generally, two hours is considered too long for a single crying interval without a check-in. Most graduated extinction methods cap intervals at 15 to 20 minutes. If a baby cries for hours, they may be overtired, hungry, or physically uncomfortable, and you should assess their needs.

How Long Should it Take For a Baby to Self-Settle?

Some babies learn to self-settle within 3 to 4 days of consistent training. Others may take up to two weeks. If you do not see any improvement after a week of consistent effort, it might be time to pause and reassess your approach or timing.

Is the Cry it Out Method Worse On the Second Night?

Yes, the “extinction burst” is a real phenomenon where behavior gets worse before it gets better. On the second or third night, the baby realizes the new routine is permanent and may protest more loudly. This is a normal part of the process, stay the course.

What Is the Difference Between CIO and Ferber?

People often use the terms interchangeably, but there is a difference. “Cry It Out” (Extinction) typically means putting the baby down and not returning until morning. “Ferber” (Graduated Extinction) involves timed check-ins to reassure the baby. Ferber is generally considered a gentler version of CIO.

In Conclusion

The most important thing is that your baby is safe and loved, and that you eventually get some sleep. You have got this!