Is there anything more heartbreaking than a baby screaming at the breast? You’re exhausted, your nipples might be sore, and you just want to feed your little one. But instead of a peaceful bonding moment, you’re met with tears and arching backs.
I’ve been there. It feels like rejection, and it makes you question if you’re doing something wrong.
Take a deep breath. We are going to figure this out.
Here is everything you need to know about why babies get upset during breastfeeding. We will help you identify the root cause and offer practical solutions so you can get back to calm, happy feedings.
Key Takeaways
- Check the latch first: A shallow or poor latch is the most common cause of fussiness; try swaddling or changing positions to help.
- Assess milk flow: Your baby might be frustrated by a let-down that is too fast (choking) or too slow (impatient).
- Watch for timing: Growth spurts and “Wonder Weeks” often cause temporary fussiness and frequent feeding demands.
- Rule out physical issues: Teething, thrush, ear infections, or reflux can make sucking painful.
Why Is My Baby Crying While Breastfeeding?
Feeding time should be relaxing. But when your baby latches on and immediately cries, it is stressful. You want to know your baby is getting enough milk and thriving.
Let’s break down the most common culprits.
1. Latching Troubles
If your baby is fussing or crying, getting a deep latch is nearly impossible. A crying baby lifts their tongue, which blocks the nipple from entering the mouth correctly. If they are overtired or overstimulated, they simply cannot focus on eating.
The Solution
Timing is everything. Try to start breastfeeding while your baby is calm and awake. Look for early hunger cues before the crying starts.
- Watch for cues: Rooting, lip smacking, sucking on hands, or tongue thrusting are signs they are ready to eat.
- Calm the environment: Swaddle your baby to stop flailing limbs. Dim the lights or use white noise to lower stimulation levels.
- Bait the hook: Hand express a few drops of milk onto your nipple. The smell and taste can entice them to latch.
- Switch it up: Sometimes a different hold, like the football hold, works better for a fussy baby (1).
2. Milk Flow Issues (Too Fast or Too Slow)
Your milk flow isn’t always consistent. Sometimes it sprays like a firehose; other times it barely trickles. Your baby will let you know which one they dislike.
If they fuss right at the start of a feed, especially in the morning when you are full, it’s likely a fast let-down. If they pull away and cry after a few minutes, specifically in the evening, the flow might be too slow (2).
Managing Fast Milk Flow
An overactive let-down can make your baby gag, cough, or clamp down to stop the flow. It’s like trying to drink from a fire hydrant.
- Express first: Pump or hand express just until the forceful spray subsides, then latch your baby.
- Recline: Use “laid-back nursing.” Lie back on pillows and place your baby on top of you, tummy to tummy. Gravity helps keep the milk from rushing down their throat.
- Burp often: Fast flow means gulping air. Burp them frequently to release gas pressure.
- Unhook and catch: If you feel a strong let-down, unlatch your baby and let the milk spray into a towel. Latch them back on when the flow settles.
Managing Slow Milk Flow
If the milk doesn’t come fast enough, a hungry baby gets “hangry.” They may latch, suck frantically, and then pull off screaming.
- Prime the pump: Hand express until you see milk before bringing the baby to the breast.
- Use heat: Apply a warm compress to your breast a few minutes before feeding to encourage flow.
- Breast compressions: While the baby is sucking, gently squeeze your breast to shoot a burst of milk into their mouth. This keeps them interested.
- Switch sides: If the flow slows on one side, switch to the other immediately to keep them gratified.
- Check your habits: Stay hydrated and eat well. Avoid smoking and limit caffeine, as these can impact supply (3).
3. Growth Spurts
Babies grow at an alarming rate. During a growth spurt, they want to eat constantly. This is often called “cluster feeding.”
Your baby might act frantic, hungry, and fussy even if they just ate. This is nature’s way of signaling your body to produce more milk. Common growth spurt timelines include:
- 7 to 10 days old.
- 2 to 3 weeks old.
- 6 weeks old.
- 3 months old.
- 6 months old.
The Solution
Surrender to the couch. This usually only lasts 24 to 48 hours. Follow your baby’s lead and feed on demand. The more you nurse, the more your supply increases to meet their new needs. Do not supplement with formula unless medically necessary, as this tells your body not to make more milk.
4. The “Wonder Weeks” (Developmental Leaps)
Your baby’s brain is rapidly developing. During these developmental leaps, often called “Wonder Weeks,” babies become more aware of the world. This can be overwhelming (4).
Suddenly, the dog barking, the TV, or a pattern on the rug is more interesting than eating. They may pop on and off the breast, look around, and get frustrated when the milk stops flowing because they stopped sucking.
The Solution
Minimize distractions. Feed in a dark, boring room. A quiet environment helps them focus on the task at hand. Some moms find success using a nursing necklace to give the baby something to focus on while feeding.
5. Trapped Gas
Sometimes a baby cries because they need to burp, but they don’t know how to do it yet. If they are writhing, pulling their legs up, or unlatching and crying, they might have a gas bubble.
The Solution
Although breastfed babies usually have less gas than bottle-fed babies, it still happens. Stop the feed and try to burp them.
Don’t wait until the end of the meal. Try burping them when you switch breasts. If they burp, great; if not, they might just want to get back to eating.
Other Reasons for Breastfeeding Tears
If the latch is good and the flow is fine, consider these hidden triggers:
- Physical Discomfort (Torticollis): Some babies have tight neck muscles from birth or positioning. Feeding on one specific side might be physically painful for them. If your baby always fights one breast, this could be why.
- Teething Pain: Sucking increases blood flow to the gums, which can cause throbbing pain for a teething baby. If they clamp down, break the suction gently with your finger (5).
- Flavor Changes: Your breast milk changes flavor based on what you eat. Strong flavors like garlic or spicy foods can transfer to milk. Some babies are sensitive to these changes (6).
- Sickness: If your baby has a cold, a stuffy nose makes it hard to breathe and eat at the same time. An ear infection can also cause pain when sucking and swallowing.
- Thrush: This fungal infection causes white patches in the baby’s mouth and can make your nipples itchy or painful. It requires treatment for both mom and baby (7).
- Reflux: If your baby arches their back and cries immediately after eating, or spits up painfully, they may have reflux (8).
- The Witching Hour: Many babies have a fussy period in the late afternoon or evening. They may want to cluster feed or may just scream regardless of what you do. This is normal and usually passes by 3 or 4 months old.
FAQs
Is It Normal for Babies to Cry While Breastfeeding?
Yes, it is common for babies to fuss occasionally due to flow speed, gas, or growth spurts. However, consistent crying at every feed is not normal and usually indicates an underlying issue like a latch problem, reflux, or ear infection. If crying persists, consult a lactation consultant.
Why Is My Baby Flailing Arms and Legs While Feeding?
Flailing is often a sign of frustration with milk flow. If the flow is too fast, they flail to pull away; if it is too slow, they flail out of impatience. It can also be a sign of overtiredness or gas discomfort.
What Is a Nursing Strike?
A nursing strike is when a baby who has been breastfeeding well suddenly refuses the breast completely. This is usually a reaction to stress, illness (like a cold or earache), or a change in routine, rather than a sign of self-weaning. Strikes typically last 2 to 4 days.
Can My Diet Make My Breastfed Baby Cry?
It is possible, though less common than most people think. Some babies are sensitive to cow’s milk protein, soy, or other allergens in the mother’s diet. If your baby has eczema, bloody stools, or persistent fussiness, talk to your pediatrician about a potential elimination diet.
In Conclusion
Breastfeeding is a journey, and like any journey, it has bumps in the road. When your baby is crying at the breast, it doesn’t mean you are failing. It means you are both learning.Trust your instincts. Check the basics, latch, flow, and comfort. If the crying continues, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional. You are doing a great job, and this phase will pass.
