Thanksgiving can be a long day, especially if you have some relatives that you don’t quite see eye to eye with. Instead of discussing politics and differing opinions around the dinner table, equip your family with hilarious jokes and puns to break the ice.
I’ve put together a list of 225 corny Thanksgiving jokes for kids, parents, and the whole family to enjoy! No matter who you are spending the holidays with, there will surely be at least a few jokes on this list that will have your friends and family in stitches.
Whether you want dumb jokes about turkey, knock-knock jokes, or funny riddles, gobble up this comprehensive list that is sure to make you giggle.
Table of Contents
Silly Jokes About Thanksgiving
Get ready for these 40 kids’ Thanksgiving jokes that are a little cheesy but fantastic for family get-togethers. These are great for children, for teens, and even senior citizens, as they are packed with kid-friendly humor. We’ve stayed away from dirty jokes on this list, as we don’t want to cause any family awkwardness during this November holiday.
- What would the pilgrims be most famous for if they were alive today?
Their age! - What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to?
Plymouth Rock. - How did the pilgrims get their cows across to America?
On the Moooo-flower. - What is Dracula’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving. - What did the pilgrim wear to dinner?
A har-vest. - Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wear belt buckles on their hats. - What’s the difference between Halloween and Thanksgiving?
One has goblins; the other has gobblers. - Why did the farmer steamroll his potato field?
He wanted mashed potatoes! - What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie?
Your teeth. - If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims. - What do comedians call Thanksgiving?
Pranks-giving. - What did Han Solo say to Luke Skywalker on Thanksgiving?
“May the forks be with you.” - What do you call the age of a pilgrim?
Pilgrimage. - What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?
One buries their treasure, and one treasures their berries. - What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Squash. - What do selfish people call Thanksgiving?
Thankstaking. - Why did the pilgrims sail from England to America?
Because they missed their plane. - What do you call a pilgrim’s vocabulary?
Pilgrammar. - Why did the pilgrims eat turkey at Thanksgiving?
They couldn’t fit the moose in the oven! - What did the pilgrim teenagers think about the first Thanksgiving?
It was corny. - What did the pilgrims use to bake?
May-flour. - What kind of face does a pilgrim make when in pain?
Pil-grimace. - What does every mom want to make on Thanksgiving?
Dinner reservations. - When the pilgrims landed, where did they stand?
On their feet. - Why didn’t the pilgrims want to bake bread for Thanksgiving?
It’s a crumby job. - What does a pilgrim call their friends?
Pal-grims. - What’s the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook?
Pil-gram. - What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi. - What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving?
Twerk-ey! - How many cranberries grow on a bush?
All of them. - What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
A G! - When did the Pilgrims first say, “God bless America.”
When they first heard America sneeze. - If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?
Scholar ships. - What does a pumpkin like to read?
Pulp fiction. - When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary. - Why did Ronald come to school late after Thanksgiving?
He thought he had the day half off because it was Black Friday! - Why didn’t the pilgrims tell secrets in the cornfield?
Because the corn had ears. - Who scares the cranberry?
The booberry. - What time do families eat Thanksgiving dinner?
Halftime. - Why didn’t the Thanksgiving band perform?
Someone ate the drumsticks.
Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes
Possibly the best way to get people laughing are turkey jokes for kids. Don’t worry; they’re great for middle schoolers and for adults, too. Some of these make for fantastic dad jokes that will have everyone rolling their eyes and trying to hold back laughs. Here are 55 cheesy jokes to tell around the dinner table.
- What did the mother turkey say to her naughty children?
If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy. - What does a turkey eat for dessert?
Peach Gobbler. - What do you call a Turkey the day after Thanksgiving?
Lucky! - Why was the turkey the drummer in the band?
He had the drumsticks. - Who is never hungry on Thanksgiving?
The turkey. He’s already stuffed! - Why was the turkey arrested?
He was suspected of fowl play. - What did the Thanksgiving turkey say to the Christmas ham?
Nice to meat you. - What materials did the turkey use to build a road?
Gobblestones. - What did the turkey say to the computer?
Google, google, google. - When should you serve tofurkey?
On Pranksgiving. - What’s a turkey’s favorite month?
Anything other than November! - Why do turkeys always say gobble, gobble?
They never learned good table manners. - What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The turKEY. - Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Yes. Buildings can’t jump. - Why do turkeys hate the kitchen on Thanksgiving?
It smells fowl. - What is a turkey’s ringtone?
Wing, Wing! - What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?
Serve him plenty of pizza and ice cream! - What did the turkey say to the hunter on Thanksgiving?
Quack. - What key has legs and can’t unlock a door?
A turKEY. - What has feathers and webbed feet?
A turkey going scuba diving. - Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside! - What’s the best Thanksgiving dance?
The turkey trot. - Who didn’t have any friends at Friendsgiving?
The turkey. - What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food. - What do you get when you cross a turkey and a ghost?
A poultrygeist! - What’s a turkey without feathers called?
Thanksgiving dinner. - What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him! - What do you get when you cross a turkey and an octopus?
Drumsticks for everyone! - What do you get when you cross a turkey and a banjo?
A turkey that can pluck itself. - What do turkeys and teddy bears have in common?
They both have stuffing. - Why are turkeys good at rebelling?
They love a coup. - Why did the turkey cross the road at Thanksgiving?
He wanted people to think he was a chicken. - How does a hurt turkey walk?
Wobble, wobble! - Why did the turkey go to the plastic surgeon?
To get a breast reduction. - What’s blue and covered in feathers?
A turkey holding its breath. - Why can’t you take a turkey near kids?
He has such fowl language. - What toy does a turkey play with?
Gobbleheads. - Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the turkey’s foot. - What do turkeys do for lunch?
Have a peck-nic. - Which bird is the best at bowling?
A turkey. - When is turkey soup bad for your health?
When you are the turkey. - What made the cranberries go red?
Seeing the turkey dressing. - What song did the cook listen to while cooking the turkey?
“All About That Baste.” - Why do turkeys gobble?
Because they can’t talk! - What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll. - What was the turkey thankful for on Thanksgiving?
Vegetarians. - If you call a large turkey a gobbler, what’s a small one called?
Goblet. - Why should you never put the turkey next to the dessert?
He will gobble it up! - Why do turkeys only star in R-rated movies?
Because they use fowl language. - What kind of weather do turkeys like?
Fowl weather. - What did the leftover turkey say?
Make me a sandwich! - Why were the turkeys parading down the street?
They were marching to the beat of their own drumsticks. - Where do you find a turkey with no legs?
Exactly where you left it. - Why didn’t the cook season the Thanksgiving turkey?
There was no thyme! - How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
I’m not sure, but I’ll let you know next week!
Jokes About Thanksgiving Dinner
Kids know not to play with their food, but that doesn’t mean they can’t play around with their food. Looking for a funny joke of the day that will go down a treat for elementary students, teens, and older relatives? Here are 30 funny jokes about Thanksgiving dinner to tickle your ribs!
- How did the Thanksgiving cheese plate go down?
Everyone was grate-ful. - What kind of vegetables does the family next door like on Thanksgiving?
Beets me! - What smells the best at Thanksgiving dinner?
Your nose. - What can you never eat for Thanksgiving dinner?
Breakfast or lunch. - What’s a turkey’s favorite Thanksgiving food?
Nothing — it’s already stuffed. - What dish makes the worst jokes at Thanksgiving?
The corny bread. - What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving?
Leftovers. - What do sweet potatoes wear to bed?
Yammies. - How is the butternut squash soup?
It was gourd. - Where did the first corn come from?
The stalk brought it. - What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner?
The casse-role. - What do turkeys drink wine from?
Gobblets. - Why don’t side dishes tell jokes?
They’re too corny. - Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots. - Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on Thanksgiving?
The potatoes have eyes; the corn has ears, and the beans stalk. - What did the salt and pepper say to welcome the guests?
“Seasoning’s greetings!” - Why did the policeman crash Thanksgiving dinner?
To stop people from going over the feed limit. - What do you call a sad cranberry?
A blueberry. - How do you fix a broken pumpkin pie?
With a pumpkin patch. - What do you need to make Thanksgiving s’mores?
Pil-grahams. - Who helped the squash cross the road?
The crossing gourd. - Where do you get turkey stock in bulk?
The stock market. - What side dish do you bring for Thanksgiving dinner when you’ve accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes?
Squash casserole. - How did you find Grandma’s turkey this year?
I just looked next to the carrots. - What do you say to your funny uncle on Thanksgiving?
“You’re on a casse-roll!” - What did the president say when given a poorly cooked turkey?
“Is it too late for a pardon?” - What is it called when you gossip with a turkey at the table?
A side dish. - What did Dad say when he was asked to say grace?
“Grace.” - Will I eat leftovers for a week?
I cran and I will. - What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving?
I liked the leftovers before they were cool.
Thanksgiving Knock-Knock Jokes
Are you ready for some humorous knock-knock jokes that are perfect for kindergarteners, teens, and parents to enjoy? These are great for around the table or for school Thanksgiving celebrations since they are all kid-friendly and clean!
- Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving who?
Thanks for giving us this feast! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Hank.
Hank who?
Hanksgiving is here! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby Thanksgiving! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up, I’m hungry! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any leftovers? - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tarama we’ll have turkey leftovers! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Aida.
Aida who?
Aida lot more than I should have! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I don’t eat this much! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Gladys.
Gladys who?
Gladys Thanksgiving. Let’s eat! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Emma.
Emma who?
Emma real pig when it comes to turkey! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have to wait long to eat? - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Senior.
Senior who?
Senior cooking. Can I have some? - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes an awful Thanksgiving joke! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Nate.
Nate who?
Nate too much food. - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie body seen the turkey? - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Sid.
Sid who?
Sid down! It’s time to eat. - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Henrietta.
Henrietta who?
Henrietta lot of turkey this year! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Don.
Don who?
Don eat all the potatoes, I want some! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Graham.
Graham who?
Graham cracker crust is my favorite. - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
Butter open up quickly; I have funny Thanksgiving jokes to tell! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben nice to catch up this Thanksgiving. - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Aaron.
Aaron who?
Aaron you having more pie? - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Phillip.
Phillip who?
Phillip your plate and dig in! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Howie.
Howie who?
Howie going to spend Thanksgiving? - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive the turkey stuffing! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Handsome.
Handsome who?
Handsome gravy to me, please. - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Feather.
Feather who?
Feather the last time, set the table! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Esther.
Esther who?
Esther any more cranberry sauce? - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Possum.
Possum who?
Possum gravy on my turkey, please. - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke at all this food! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Franny.
Franny who?
Franny more gravy? - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Nadia.
Nadia who?
Nadia head when you say ‘Gobble, Gobble!’ - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Aiken.
Aiken who?
Aiken eat no more! - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Wilma.
Wilma who?
Will Ma make a lot of food for Thanksgiving dinner? - Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Dez.
Dez who?
Dezaster in the kitchen when Dad tried to help with the turkey!
Funny Stories and Riddles About Thanksgiving
Serve up the turkey with a side of riddles! These funny stories, one-liners, clever jokes, and riddles will have the whole family laughing. I’ve included 65 funny jokes to share with the guests around the dinner table. These puns might even become an annual tradition.
- What has ears but cannot hear and flakes but no hair?
Corn. - What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Straw-berries. - Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!
- The farmer looked at the green pumpkin in his garden and quizzically asked, “Why orange you orange?”
- You can crush me, bake me, carve me, and see me everywhere on Thanksgiving. What am I?
A pumpkin. - If a turkey has a key and a donkey has a key, what do you expect a monkey to have?
A banana. - A turkey farmer was on a mission to breed a turkey with enough legs to feed his whole family. After many frustrating attempts, he finally introduced octopus genes to a turkey.
“I finally did it!” he said to his friend. “I bred a turkey with eight legs.”
“How did it taste?” his friend asked.
“I don’t know,” said the farmer. “I haven’t caught it yet.” - When Little Johnny was asked to write a composition about what he was thankful for on Thanksgiving, he stood up and read it out loud:
“I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.” - Mom tried a new recipe at Thanksgiving, and I told her she was a real pie-ioneer.
- Most people eat me. That’s no surprise. I taste great as chips and also fries. What am I?
A potato. - I am a 12-letter word with two compound words, and people celebrate me in November. What am I?
Thanksgiving. - If your grandma saw you making boxed mashed potatoes, she’d turn over in her grave-y.
- What do Indians, Pilgrims, and Puritans have in common?
The letter ‘I’. - I can be baked, mashed, candied, and even put in pie. What am I?
A sweet potato. - What has feathers, is the star of Thanksgiving, and goes up and down?
A turkey in an elevator. - During the church’s Thanksgiving service, a ragged man asked, “What is there to be thankful for?”
The minister replied, “What is your name?”
“Cause” said the man.
“Well, Cause, you could be thankful for your health.”
“I’m sick all the time!”
“Your family…”
“I don’t have a family.”
“Your home…”
“I’m homeless.”
“Well, then,” said the minister. “I guess you’re a lost Cause!” - I answered the phone on the toll road for many years. One Thanksgiving, a woman called to ask about the road conditions on the turnpike. I told her it was all good, and she told me her friend was coming for dinner.
“If my friend just left from exit 12, what time should I put the turkey in?” - You know you’ve overdone it on Thanksgiving when you cut yourself shaving, and you bleed gravy.
- If you’re a fan of sweet side dishes, then I’ll make you a happy fellow. I have sweet potatoes, sugar, and even marshmallow. What am I?
Candied yams. - If we feel scared on Halloween and jolly on Christmas, what do we feel on Thanksgiving?
Stuffed. - My family told me to stop telling them Thanksgiving jokes.I told them I couldn’t quit cold turkey.
- How can you tell which part of the turkey is the left side?
It’s the part that’s not been eaten. - If you want to picture fall, then my image would be best. I am a horn that’s filled with the season’s harvest. What am I?
Cornucopia. - At Thanksgiving, which hand should you butter your roll with?
Neither. Use your knife. - Thanksgiving can be an emotional holiday. People travel from all over the country to be with people they only see once a year.
Then they discover that once a year is more than enough. - A music student brought his French horn into the repair shop, complaining that he couldn’t blow air through it. When I tested the instrument, I found the horn completely blocked. After much poking and prodding, a small tangerine fell from the bell.“Oh,” said the music student. “That makes sense. My mom used the horn for a cornucopia as the Thanksgiving centerpiece!”
- My grandma made mashed potatoes from a box. That’s it. That’s the joke.
- What is the difference between Thanksgiving and April Fools?
On one, you are thankful. On the other, you are prankful. - What is oddly shaped, hard, and brings good fortune on Thanksgiving?
A wishbone. - I’m always on the Thanksgiving dinner table, but you never get to eat me. What am I?
Plates and silverware. - What do grateful, thankful, wonderful, and joyful all have in common?
They’re all full. - What’s the difference between a chicken and a turkey on Thanksgiving?
The turkey is stuffed. - Holly’s grandmother came to visit for Thanksgiving. When she knocked on the door, Holly answered.
“I’m so happy to see you, Grandma,” she said.
“Thank you, Holly. Me, too.”
“Now, maybe Dad will do that trick he was talking about.”
“What trick?” The grandmother asked, bewildered.
“I heard him tell Mom that he would climb the wall if you came to visit!” - Vegetables are important on Thanksgiving. That’s why there is carrot cake, pumpkin pie, and zucchini bread.
- Hey, I just met you, and this is gravy, but here’s my stuffing, so carve me, maybe.
- Oh my gourd, I ate too much.
- What’s always in the middle of the table every Thanksgiving?
The letter “B”. - What did the daughter say to her mom when she wanted help fixing Thanksgiving dinner?
“Why? Is it broken?” - What never eats at the Thanksgiving table but is always stuffed?
A turkey. - Why don’t people eat fish on Thanksgiving?
It never falls on a Fry-Day. - What has feathers, a bowed head, and kneels?
A turkey praying not to be eaten. - Why is Jim always getting low grades after Thanksgiving?
Because everything is marked down after the holidays. - What is something that describes political talk and filling up your plate on Thanksgiving?
Choosing sides. - First, you throw away the outside, then cook the inside. Next, you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What am I?
Corn on the cob. - Which Thanksgiving drink is sad?
Apple sigh-der. - I can be hot, cold, made with fruit, veggies, or meat, but either way, I’m a tasty treat. What am I?
Pie. - What has feathers, a beak, and is dressed?
A Thanksgiving turkey. - If you are craving the turkey with an electric cutter, what kind of battery do you need when it runs out of power?
None, because it’s electric-powered. - There were 10 pairs of hands in the dining room on Thanksgiving, but only eight people were eating. How?
There was a clock on the wall. - Which is heavier, a ton of potatoes or a ton of turkey feathers?
Neither. They both weigh a ton. - If it took three people four hours to roast a turkey, how long would it take four women to roast the same turkey?
No time at all. The turkey is already roasted. - You reap what you sow because of this. Remove the first three letters, and it becomes an item of clothing you can wear. What is it?
A harVEST. - I get stuffed and dressed on Thanksgiving, but I’m not the turkey. What am I?
The Thanksgiving host. - I’m extra helpful after Thanksgiving dinner. I’m full of holes but still hold water. What am I?
A sponge. - The butter kept making jokes. The salad turned to it and said, “You’re on a roll.”
- Why do turkeys lay eggs?
If they dropped them, they’d break. - How would you be able to call a pet squash?
Call it anything you want. It won’t hear you! - If an apple, pear, and peach come from a tree, where do turkeys come from?A poul-tree.
- What’s really easy to get into and hard to get out of?
Jeans on Thanksgiving. - A woman asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
He replied, “No, ma’am. They’re dead.” - What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it?
“Liberty, equality, and bad aim for all!” - What do you get if you breed a turkey with an octopus?
Eight feather dusters. - Two moms and two daughters are at a Thanksgiving table, but there are only three people at the table. How is it possible?
They are a grandma, mom, and daughter. - What do you get if you cross a turkey and a bell?
A bird who has to wring its own neck. - I’m a flower, but I don’t bloom. I sound like a month, and I float on water. What am I?
The Mayflower.
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