If you want to learn some sheepish jokes, flock around. Do I have funny sheep banter for ewe!
Whether you’re a parent trying to make your kid laugh, or vice versa, you’ve come to the right place. I have scoured the web and pestered my funny friends for a bunch of sheep puns and jokes. With over 180 jokes, this list is full of silly jokes for kids, humor for adults, one-liners, and even cute lamb puns and jokes you can use for Instagram captions.
There are some you may have herd before, but I’m sure there will be some n-ewe ones you can add to your repertoire of jokes.
Sheep Joke Generator
Press the generator below to get a random sheep joke that will make your friends and family baa with laughter!
Silly Sheep Jokes for Kids
Being a kid is all about having a good time, making memories, and of course, laughing and smiling loads! Around a certain age, kids will become obsessed with jokes. If your little one also has a love for sheep, flock around because I’ve got 50 hilarious sheep-themed jokes to share with ewe!
- What kind of dance do sheep love?
- What do you get when you cross an angry sheep and a grumpy cow?
A baaaad moooood.
- What part of a computer do sheep love?
- What is a sheep’s favorite Christmas carol?
All I Want for Christmas is EWE!
- What kind of car does a sheep drive?
- What should a muddy sheep do?
Take a baaaath.
- How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Spanish?
- What do you call it when a lamb falls down a mountain?
- Where do sheep go on vacation?
- Why did the police give the sheep a ticket?
It made an illegal ewe turn.
- What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baaaaar.
- Who is a sheep’s favorite singer?
- What is an old sheep called?
- What do you call a sheep without legs?
- What did the sheep mom say to the lamb?
“It’s pasture bedtime!”
- What do you call a sheep with wings?
- How do you sheep start emails?
I hope this email finds you wool.
- Why did the barber give his sheep a free haircut?
Because shearing is caring.
- Where do sheep get their haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
- What does a sheep say to its girlfriend?
“I love ewe.”
- Why didn’t the sheep listen to their shepherd?
They had herd it all before.
- Why are sheep always getting injured?
They keep ramming into things!
- What do you call a lamb that does karate?
- What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?
- What’s a sheep’s favorite song?
“Baby, don’t herd me.”
- Why was the lamb hiding from everyone?
It was feeling sheepish!
- What do you call a dancing sheep?
- What is a sheep’s favorite snack?
- Which male artist do sheep listen to?
- What do you say to a sad sheep?
- What do you call a sheep thief?
- How do sheep get to sleep?
They count their friends.
- Why don’t sheep get sick?
They have herd immunity.
- How do sheep feel about goats?
A bit meh!
- What do sheep love most about baseball?
Going to baaa-t.
- What do you get when you cross human DNA with sheep DNA?
Kicked off the farm!
- What do sheep do at the bank?
Check their baaa-lanace.
- What sport do sheep play?
- Why did the ewe skip the family reunion?
It was always the black sheep of the family.
- What is it called when you shave a crazy sheep?
- How do sheep say Merry Christmas?
“Merry Christmas to ewe!”
- What instrument do a pair of sheep play?
- What is a sheep’s ultimate goal?
To wool the world!
- What do you get when you cross a sheep and a rhino?
- Where do sheep watch videos?
- What do you call a stingy sheep?
- Where do sheep go when they’re arrested?
- What do sheep wear to go swimming?
- What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
A wooly jumper.
- What do you sheep use to take measurements?
One-Liner Jokes About Lambs
A one-liner saying is excellent for emitting a quick laugh. Kids can easily memorize these and surprise people with them out of the blue. This will be especially funny if you spot some sheep on your walk or visit to the farm.
We’ve got one-liners about knitting, herding sheep, and how sheep cope during a pandemic. There’s something for everyone on this list!
- Here’s a joke about a man and his flock of sheep. Sorry if you’ve herd it before.
- A retired boxer visits his doctor because he’s finding it hard to sleep at night. The doctor asks him if he’s tried counting sheep. The retired boxer replies, “I tried, but every time I get to nine, I stand up.”
- When you cross a kangaroo and a sheep, prepare for a wooly jumper.
- A sheep’s motto is all’s wool that ends wool.
- I.T. is one of the biggest sheep industries. There’s always a need for more RAM.
- I think you’ll experience sheer delight at all my sheep puns!
- The farmer asked me to round up 37 sheep. I said 40!
- Two sheep were talking about a ewe. They were trying to determine if they’d met herbivore.
- That sheep is a real baaaa-humbug at Christmas time.
- I just saw a sheep wearing a swimsuit driving a car. It was a Lamb Bikini.
- Nerdy sheep are especially good at controlling a computer’s RAM.
- Those two sheep are in a relationsheep.
- A mathematician is hired to build a fence around a flock of sheep using the fewest materials possible. He builds a fence around himself, then defines himself as the outside.
- The sheep had some paperwork today. It was their last wool and testament.
- A flock of sheep suddenly surrounded me. It was a lambush!
- I saw a farmer shave a sheep in five seconds; it was shear brilliance.
- A sheep walks into a bar and asks, “Where’s the baaa-rtender?”
- I couldn’t figure out why a male sheep’s name is ram… but then it hit me.
- That beautiful sheep is looking very glamborous!
- The sheep family finally reunited after the pandemic. It was a beautiful re-ewe-nion.
- I herd some rumors about sheep through the grapevine.
- A female sheep walks into the bar with a baby cow and a baby goat. Ewe calf to be kidding!
- Sheep are experts in their field of work.
- A sheep, drum, and snake fall down a hill. Baaa-dum-tssss.
- As a farmer, I hear many sheep jokes. I’d tell them to my dog, but he’s herd them all!
- A sheep and a goat went on a blind date and found they didn’t have anything in common. When I asked how it went, the sheep said, “Bah” and the goat said, “Meh!”
- When you buy sheep online, do you pay a sheeping fee?
- I was attacked by sheep! I couldn’t do anything to stop the bleating.
- The sheep went to the store and scanned his baa-codes.
- I enjoy jokes about sheep. In fact, I won’t be happy until I’ve herd them all.
- Today I learned humans breed sheep to grow a large amount of wool for yarn. Some vegans object, but that’s more of a ewe problem.
- I read an article that said it takes three sheep to make a sweater. I didn’t even know they could knit!
- I’m upset because my neighbor’s sheep aren’t clipped well. I can’t stand that shear incompetence.
- My friend offered me some sheep stomach tacos. I said, “No thanks. That sounds offal.”
- It’s dangerous for sheep to have cars. You don’t want to be a sheep at the wheel.
- I used to be a shepherd, but I have no idea how many sheep I had. I kept falling asleep trying to count them.
Sheep Puns for Instagram
Sharing cute photos of your flock on the gram? Here are 50 clever caption ideas that ewe will love! Watch your followers flock around this play on words.
- I’m here for sheep thrills.
- I’ll always be there for ewe.
- Sheep, sheep, coming through.
- I don’t wear sheep clothes.
- All’s wool that ends wool.
- I’m way ahead of ewe.
- Take the path of fleece resistance.
- I wooly love you.
- Ewe crazy!
- What is love? Baby, don’t herd me.
- Wouldn’t ewe know it?
- Ewe are one in a million.
- All sheeps and sizes.
- Accidents wool happen.
- Wool always be friends.
- All I need to feel fresh again is a good long sheep.
- You can try, but you can’t wool me.
- A shear disaster!
- The sheep of things to come.
- Sheep up or ship out.
- Abandon sheep!
- The sheep has sailed.
- The truth wool be revealed.
- Sheep just got real.
- I shear do miss you.
- It’s a sheep shot.
- Go down with the sheep.
- Shear force of will.
- Time wool tell.
- I’m going out on a lamb here.
- I don’t think you herd me correctly.
- It’s a baaaad baaaad world.
- Looking g-lamb-orous!
- Not as wool as you think.
- Thank ewe.
- Wool you be my Valentine?
- Silence of the lambs.
- Ram the point home.
- Between ewe and me…
- Shear up, my love. It’ll all work out.
- Don’t wool them out.
- You herd it here first.
- Ewe, that’s gross.
- A grand re-ewe-nion.
- Raise the baaaa.
- Ewe are enough.
- All I want for Christmas is ewe.
- Ewe are adorable!
- Looking wooly cute.
- No ewes crying over spilled milk.
Sheep Jokes for All Ages
Some of the kid-friendly jokes are a bit boring for teens and parents. In this section, we’ll include jokes for kids, teens, and adults. So if your child is reading through this post, you might want to censor a few of these first.
- What do you call a sheep that goes to church?
- What animal sounds like a sheep but isn’t?
- Where do sheep go to die?
- How do sheep greet each other?
“Hay, how are ewe?”
- What is a sheep’s favorite baseball team?
The Seattle Merinos.
- What do you call a sheep on steroids?
A wooly mammoth.
- What newspaper do sheep read?
The Wool Street Journal.
- What type of restaurant do sheep like?
A hole in the wool.
- How do you milk sheep?
Bring out a new iPhone and charge $2000 for it. “
- I love my farming job!” said the farmer.
“All you do is boss us around,” said one of his sheep.
“What did you just say to me?” asked the farmer.
“You herd me,” said the sheep.
- Where do sheep go shopping?
- What do you call a sheep with a wooden leg and one eye?
A pirate sheep.
- What is a French sheep’s favorite holiday?
- How did the sheep cross the river?
By doing the baaa-ckstroke.
- What football club do sheep support?
- If there are 26 sheep and one dies, how many are left?
19. I had twenty-sick sheep, and one died.
- How do you get a sheep’s attention?
Shout, “Hey, ewe!”
- Who do sheep see if they have back pain?
- Why did the sheep go to rehab?
Because it had a gamboling problem!
- How does the young sheep wake up in the morning?
With a lamb clock.
- What happens when a Jewish sheep turns 13?
They get a baaaa-r mitzvah!
- What do you call a flying sheep?
- What is a sheep’s favorite food?
A granola baaa-r.
- What is round and green and chases sheep?
- What do you call a sheep that likes playing fetch?
- What are dentures for sheep called?
- How does a Welshman find sheep in long grass?
- What do you call a wolf in sheep’s clothing?
- Why couldn’t the flock of sheep solve the computer puzzle?
There wasn’t enough ram.
- Did you know you can get electricity from sheep?
It’s just a matter of wool power.
- What do you call a sheep that’s always quiet?
- What do you call a group of sheep standing in a circle?
- A man bumps into his neighbor carrying a sheep under each arm and asks, “You gonna shear ‘em?”
He says, “No, they’re both for me.”
- What do you call a horse mixed with a sheep?
- How do sheep keep wolves out of their cars?
They flock to the doors.
- What do you get when you cross a boa and a sheep?
A wrap-around sweater.
- What dimension is completely inhabited by sheep?
- The local zoo has an interesting attraction: a lion and a sheep living together in the same cage.
I asked the zookeeper if they fight. He said, “Rarely.”
“What happens when they do?”
“We get another sheep.”
- On which side do sheep have the most wool?
- What do sheep do in church?
They sing Amazing Graze. Sometimes they get baaa-ptized.
- A police officer pulls over a man with a sheep in the front seat. “What are you doing with the sheep? You should take him to the zoo.”
The next week, the same police officer pulls over the same man with the same sheep in the front seat. Both the sheep and the man are wearing sunglasses and bathing suits.
“What are you doing? I told you to take him to the zoo!”
“I did,” said the man. “We had such a good time. We are going to the beach now.”
- What do you call a Greek sheep?
- One sheep said to another, “I love your brooch.”
The second sheep responded, “Thanks. My grandma left it to me in her wool.”
- What do you call a sheep that went to space?
A space sheep.
- What tool do you use to inseminate a sheep?
- What religious text does a sheep read?
- What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a daisy?
- Where do you go to learn sheep humor?
- What did the farmer say to the angry man?
“Oh, don’t get so bent out of sheep.”
- What are the only two words in the English language that have two U’s together?
Vacuum and sheep.