70 Rock Puns & Jokes (Don’t Take These Jokes for Granite)

Are you stuck between a rock and a hard place and need some funny jokes to crack the ice? Whether you’re going on a geology trip or simply want some hilarious rock puns and jokes, stick around because I can help.

I’ve put together a list of 70 rock solid jokes that are bound to make your friends and family chuckle. This list includes the best jokes about minerals, knock-knock jokes, dad jokes, and funny one-liners.

So rock along and learn the stone puns and riddles that will be a rockin’ hit at your next social gathering.

Jokes About Rocks and Minerals

Here are 14 hilarious jokes that will make even the toughest rock hound crack a smile. Enjoy these jokes that make a play on words and turn classic geology information into humor-filled puns.

1. Which rock group is composed of four men who can’t sing?
   Mount Rushmore.
2. Why can’t minerals lie?
   They’re always in their pure form.
3. Why was the coal’s alibi suspicious?
   Because it wasn’t crystal clear.
4. Why was the gemstone scared for his exams?
   He thought he wasn’t going topaz.
5. What did the rock say to the word processor?
   Boulder.
6. What do you do with a baby stone?
   Rock it.
7. Why doesn’t the government care about laborers who collect minerals in caves?
   They’re only miner issues.
8. What is a rock’s favorite fruit?
   A pome-granite.
9. What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
   “This is too much pressure!”
10. What do you call an unpleasant pebble?
    A rude-ite.
11. What do you call a fake Irish gem?
    A sham rock.
12. Why can’t you purchase minerals by the gallon?
    They only come in quartz.
13. What do you call small rocks?
    Mini-rals.
14. What did the motivational rock say?
    “Don’t take life for granite.”
15. What does a geologist say before making a commitment?
    “It’s all ore nothing.”

Knock-Knock Jokes About Rocks

Need to capture your friend’s attention? Or your kid’s? Try out these interactive knock-knock jokes that will have them in knee-slapping fits of giggles in no time.

16. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Pass.
    Pass who?
    Pass the basalt, please!
17. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Cirque.
    Cirque who?
    Cirque and you will find it.
18. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Shale.
    Shale who?
    Shale we dance?
19. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Geode.
    Geode who?
    Geode bless you!
20. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Coal.
    Coal who?
    Coal as a cucumber!
21. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Gneiss.
    Gneiss who?
    Gneiss to meet you.
22. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Trick.
    Trick who?
    Trick ore treat!
23. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Quarry.
    Quarry who?
    Quarry not; I am here!
24. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Stone.
    Stone who?
25. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Rosetta.
    Rosetta who?
    Rosetta Stone.

Jokes About Geology

Below are 15 geology puns and jokes that will rock your world. If you’re passionate about geology, funny riddles and giggles are a great way to share your rock-love with others.

26. Why are geologists no fun at parties?
    They like to be stone-cold sober.
27. Why wasn’t the geologist hungry?
    He’d lost his apatite.
28. What is a geologist’s favorite ice cream?
    Rock erode.
29. How does a geologist relax?
    In rocking chairs.
30. Why does a geologist make a good spouse?
    They are very sedimental.
31. What did the volcano say to Earth?
    “I’m going to explode if you don’t stop pressuring me!”
32. What do geologists use in the morning to smell good?
    Geoderant.
33. What is a geologist’s favorite band?
    The Rolling Stones.
34. The dumb geologist had a gold ore in his backyard. The poor man took it for granite.
35. What do geologists say when they want a refill on their drink?
    Phyllite.
36. What did the geologist say after her date?
    Hematype.
37. Did you hear about the sad geologist?
    He’s hit rock bottom.
38. Why shouldn’t you give a geologist money?
    They consider a million years ago to be recent.
39. Why was the geologist confused at the comedy show?
    Some of the jokes fluorite over his head.
40. Why do most people love geologists?
    They are so down to earth.

Rock and Mineral Puns

Get ready for some metamorphic puns that will crack up even the stoniest companion! These cute funnies are fantastic for breaking the ice or for captions when you post about your geology expedition.

41. Let’s whet your apatite.
42. Let’s start with a clean slate.
43. I’ve hit rock bottom.
44. May the quartz be with you!
45. I lava you so much.
46. Let’s rock and roll!
47. My sediments, exactly.
48. So many geologists are out standing in the field.
49. I’m coal as a cucumber.
50. Never take life for granite.
51. My career as a geologist is really on the rocks.
52. Have a gneiss day.
53. Igneous is bliss.
54. Of quartz it is!
55. Keep your coal.
56. Geology rocks!
57. Be boulder.
58. It’s a hard rock life.
59. Geologists dig Mother Earth.
60. I may be obsessed with rocks, but that’s my pre-rock-ative.

Funny Rock One-Liners

Prepare to be rocking and rolling on the floor with laughter after you hear these nine hilarious sayings about rocks. Seriously, you’ll be digging deep to catch your breath!

61. Eating a rock is actually good for you. It’s full of minerals.
62. The tectonic plates couldn’t maintain a relationship. There was too much friction between them.
63. The geologist quit his job. He wanted to start on a clean slate.
64. It’s easy for geologists to make a good impression. They just need to make sure they smell gneiss.
65. If you tell a geologist a mountain pun, they will never get over it.
66. I love the beach; you could say I’m a pebble person.
67. My sedimentary rock collection was so cheap. It was on shale.
68. Rock puns were the funniest during the Stone Age.
69. My friend started a company digging rocks and minerals. He’s just mining his own business.
70. Rock climbers do hard work. Don’t they Everest?