40 Money Jokes & Puns: Seriously, Cheque These Out

Teaching your kids about money is important, but these conversations can be a bit heavy. Lighten the load with hilarious money jokes that kids and parents will find amusing.

I’ll loan out 40 of my favorite jokes and puns about money, finances, and debt. We’ve got knock-knock jokes, one-liners, and ridiculous puns. Along the way, you can use these laughs to open up educational conversations with your kids and teens, teaching them all about budgeting and credit cards.

So fork over some of your time and indulge in these 40 witty bank jokes. Seriously, they will take the stress out of boring budget talks with your kids.

Knock-Knock Jokes About Money

Money won’t come knocking, but you can knock-knock about money. These 10 cheap jokes are a fantastic interactive way to open up conversations with your kiddos about cash.

1. Knock, Knock.
   Who’s there?
   Nicholas.
   Nicholas who?
   Nicholas half as much as a dime.
2. Knock, Knock.
   Who’s there?
   Cash.
   Cash who?
   No thanks, I prefer peanuts.
3. Knock, Knock.
   Who’s there?
   Celeste.
   Celeste who?
   Celeste time I lend you money!
4. Knock, Knock.
   Who’s there?
   Robin.
   Robin who?
   Robin’ you. Hand over your money!
5. Knock, Knock.
   Who’s there?
   Hanover.
   Hanover who?
   Hanover your money.
6. Knock, Knock.
   Who’s there?Iowa.
   Iowa who?
   Iowa you a dollar.
7. Knock, Knock.
   Who’s there?
   Ivana. Ivana who?
   Ivana be really rich.
8. Knock, Knock.
   Who’s there?
   Needle.
   Needle who?
   Needle little money to go shopping.
9. Knock, Knock.
   Who’s there?
   Wheelbarrow.
   Wheelbarrow who?
   Wheelbarrow some money to go on vacation.
10. Knock, Knock.
    Who’s there?
    Len.
    who?
    Len me 20 bucks ‘til payday.

One-Liner Jokes About Money

These 10 one-liners are short and to the point but still packed full of humor about cash, being broke, or being tight with money. These jokes are a good investment; watch your whole family roll on the floor laughing!

11. If someone tells you money doesn’t buy happiness, then they don’t have any.
12. I’ve never tried cow tipping before. How much do you usually pay them?
13. Borrow money from pessimists. They don’t expect it back.
14. Uber lost over one million dollars in the last six months, so they’re asking drivers to check between the seat cushions.
15. Did you hear about the coin shortage in America? We’re running out of common cents.
16. If you think no one cares about you, try missing a few payments.
17. College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they’ll send your kid back.
18. I saw a sign that said, “Watch for children,” and I thought that was a fair trade.
19. The cost of living is the difference between your net income and your gross habits.
20. My daughter wants to be terrifying this Halloween. So instead of a costume, she is going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.

Jokes About Saving Money

Saving money is no joke, but we can definitely make jokes about it. These 10 comical jokes can lighten the stress of saving coins. Share them with your kids, cousins, spouse, or anyone else who might need a good laugh!

21. Where does Dracula keep his money?
    In the blood bank.
22. Why is money called dough?
    Because we all knead it.
23. Why didn’t I report my stolen credit card?
    The thief was spending less than me.
24. Why did the woman put her money in the freezer?
    She wanted some cold hard cash.
25. Why did the woman go outside with her purse open?
    She expected some change in the weather.
26. I’m currently boycotting companies that sell items I can’t afford.
27. Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
    They are really good at saving.
28. I saw a homeless man on the street with a sign that said, “One day, this could be you.”
    I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he’s right.
29. After years of putting money into a savings account, a wife tells her husband they finally have enough money for what they started saving for in 1979.
    He asks, excited, “A brand new Cadillac?” She says, “No. A 1979 Cadillac.”
30. How do clouds invest their money?
    In a combination of liquid assets and frozen assets.

Jokes About Money and Happiness

I’ll admit, some of our jokes so far have probably made you wince about the dramas surrounding pennies and dollars. But these lighthearted jokes will put a genuine smile on your face and make you forget about financial stress. Here are 10 money puns about cash and happiness.

31. I won three million dollars in the lottery this weekend.
    I decided to donate a quarter to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75.
32. Money isn’t the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money. — Jackie Mason
33. All I ask for is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy. — Spike Milligan
34. How did the dinosaur pay his bill at the restaurant?
    With Tyrannosaurus checks.
35. Why did the student eat his dollar bill?
    His mother told him it was for lunch.
36. Money isn’t everything, but it certainly keeps you in touch with your kids.
37. How can you become rich by eating?
    Eat fortune cookies.
38. When does it start raining money?
    When there’s a change in the weather.
39. What would everyone’s favorite season be if money started growing on trees?
    Fall.
40. Where will you always find money?
    In the dictionary.

Money Makes the Laughs Go Round

Currency and bank jokes are a good way to get everyone laughing. After all, most of us can relate! Our 40 funny jokes are fantastic for adults and kids since they’re all clean and child-friendly.

Whether you’re looking for dad jokes or rich people puns, we’ll lend you our favorite financial funnies and won’t even consider it a debt! Take them to your next party — or meeting with the bank management — and you’ll surely get a few chuckles.