Looking to sprinkle some humor into your day? You’ve come to the right place. From crispy potato chip puns to sweet potato sayings, I’ve got them all!
Whether you’re looking to impress your friends or you’re a parent on the hunt for some dumb dad jokes, I’ve put together a list of 90 clean jokes about everyone’s favorite starchy vegetable!
Couch potato or a French fry fanatic, my collection of potato puns and jokes will surely make you and your loved ones chuckle. So, sit back, relax, and let’s dig into these hilarious tater tales!
One-Liner Jokes About Potatoes
Ready to unearth the best potato product puns? Dive deep into our crispy one-liners and quotes, and get ready to chuckle!
It helps if you know the different names of potatoes. Then you’ll understand the punch lines and play on words better! This includes spud, tater, tuber, hash, yam, and plant.
- You never see King Charles or Madonna presenting sport on TV. Only common taters.
- I took my jacket potato to the dentist yesterday. They said he needed a filling.
- My friend was in a band called the Powdered Potatoes. They had a smash hit.
- Russia decided to launch a satellite full of potatoes into orbit. It’s called the spudnic.
- My friend had a terrible time working for a potato merchant. They gave him the sack.
- I know you’ve already heard potato jokes. I’m just here to rehash them.
- Did you hear about the potato-hiding content? I won because my carbo-hide-rate was so good.
- I’m going to cook with potatoes. They’re very a-peeling.
- My friend has a vegetable patch. It takes away his cravings for potatoes.
- I saw some chips strolling down the street. I offered them a ride, and they said, “No thanks. We’re Walkers.”
- A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend. She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet?” he said, “It’s just the way I yam.”
- That computer uses silicone chips. Not as tasty as potatoes.
- The potato living next door dreams of being a successful entrepreneur. He’s got at least five starch-up businesses already.
- I heard that burglars used a potato to smash a window and sneak into a house, but the evidence may have been planted.
- My friend and I love potatoes. That’s why we’re spuddies.
- That potato is so quiet. He must be a medi-tater.
- Mr Potato Head’s wife is upset. She says he won’t tater anywhere.
- I met a girl who owned three French fry factories. I was impressed, but she said it was just small potatoes.
Potato Jokes for Kids
This isn’t the place to come for dirty or flirty spud jokes. Nope! These 18 jokes (and most others on my list) are kid-friendly sayings, both in terms of humor and understanding the punchline.
- Why do potatoes make great detectives?
They always keep their eyes peeled.
- What do you call a yam with a broom?
A sweep potato.
- How do you describe an angry potato?
- Why was the potato so tired?
It gets up at four a-yam.
- Why did the potato cross the road?
He saw a fork up ahead.
- What do you call a lazy spud?
A couch potato.
- What do you use to carry potatoes?
A tater tote.
- What’s the best pasta to feed a potato?
- Why did the potato go to the doctor?
He was peeling sick.
- What do you call a baby potato?
A small fry.
- What do you get when you cross a potato with a race car?
- What do you call a potato with right angles?
A square root.
- Which day of the week do potatoes fear most?
- How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood?
When they act salty.
- Why did the potato go to the gym?
To become a hot potato.
- Why did the sea monster eat five ships carrying potatoes?
No one can eat just one potato ship.
- What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
- Why did the potato wear socks?
He wanted to keep his pota-toes warm.
Potato Dad Jokes
Do you want to hear silly dad jokes about baked potatoes and even a knock-knock joke? Your kids might roll your eyes, but dads, that means you’ve succeeded.
- Knock Knock.
Edgar Allan Poe-tato.
- What did the sweet potato say to the regular potato?
I yam what I yam.
- What do you say to an angry baked potato?
Anything you like, just butter it up first.
- Why did the potato cross the road?
To get to the other fry.
- I think. Therefore, I yam.
- What do you call a potato wearing glasses?
- What type of seasoning takes the longest to put on roast potatoes?
- What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water?
- What’s a potato’s favorite TV show?
- What do you get after a potato rainstorm?
- Which disease is the biggest killer of potatoes?
- What did the potato say to the tomato?
You say “to-may-to”, I say “to-mah-to”.
- Why do scarecrows struggle to share secrets?
The potatoes have eyes, and the corn has ears.
- Why aren’t the potatoes friends?
They got off to a bad starch.
- Who is the most powerful potato?
- What do tomatoes and potatoes have in common?
- What do you call a potato that’s always looking for a fight?
- What do you call a fake potato?
Mashed Potato Puns
There are many ways to serve potatoes, but mashed potatoes are a big hit! If you want to take this glorious side dish and turn it into a terrific way to make your family laugh, keep reading.
- What does a potato say on a sunny morning?
What a mashing day!
- Why shouldn’t you give mashed potatoes to a zombie?
They’re already a little grave-y.
- Why was the potato unpopular at parties?
He was a mashed potato.
- What did the guests say at the potatoes’ wedding?
They’re a mash made in heaven.
- What do you get when you put potatoes on the kitchen floor?
- What do you get when you put an elephant and a bag of potatoes together?
- How does a potato win at video games?
He mashes the buttons.
- What is a potato’s favorite song to dance to on Halloween?
“The Monster Mash”.
- What’s a potato’s least favorite dance?
The Mash Potato.
- Why did the potato break up with the sweet potato?
They were too different to mash.
- What did one frat boy potato say to the other?
Let’s get s-mashed!
- What should you say to a well-dressed potato?
You look smashing.
- What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes, but no one can pea soup.
- What did the mother potato say to her child on his birthday?
Have a s-mashing birthday!
- What do you get when you cross a country singer with a potato?
- Why did the potato refuse to jump off the diving board?
Because he was already a mashed potato.
- I purchased a potato gun the other day.
Turns out it was a weapon of mashed destruction.
- Why didn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone?
He desperately wanted a scoop.
Potato Chip Puns
Looking for funny jokes about potato chips? Take a bite out of these 18 jokes and riddles.
- What do you call a potato after it’s been chopped up?
- What do you call a chip that makes fun of you?
- Why did the potato go to the dentist?
He had a bad chip.
- What did the dad potato say to his son?
“You’re a chip off the old block!”
- Why do bags of potato chips have so much less chips these days?
- What do you call a ship with glasses?
- What do you call a monkey who sells chips?
- How do you know if a potato has been through a lot?
He’ll probably have a chip on his shoulder.
- What did one potato chip say to the other?
“Should we dip?”
- What do the friends say to the potato chip on its birthday?
“Chip chip, hooray!”
- Why does the tortilla chip always beat the potato chip in a debate?
The tortilla chip has a point.
- What do you call a skateboarding potato that’s tight with money?
- What did one potato say to the other when organizing a birthday present for their mutual friend?
“Do you mind chipping in?”
- What did the two best friend potatoes have?
Friend chip goals.
- What do you call a potato-cutting friar?
A chip monk.
- What do you say when they ask if you want salad or chips at a restaurant?
“I’m not taking sides.”
- How do you know if a potato has no money?
He won’t chip in for dinner.
- Why did the potato chip’s skin hurt?
It was burnt to a crisp.