100+ Encouraging Things to Say to Your Child

The words we say to our children become the words they say to themselves. Steady encouragement builds resilience and self-worth that carries into adulthood, and the specific words of encouragement for kids you choose matter even more than the good intention behind them.

There is a real difference between praising what a child did and praising who they are. “You worked so hard on that throw” hands your child something they can do again. “You’re a natural” does not.

So we grouped 100+ encouraging things to say below by the moments kids actually need them, from a big test to a rough day, plus a short guide to making the words land.

Before a test, say something that points at the preparation your child has already done, because that is the part they still control once the paper is in front of them. These lines work the night before, in the car, or at the school gate.

How hard you try is what’s important, not the grade you get at the end.

You’ve got this.

I am proud of you.

We are always proud of you, no matter the result.

Don’t panic; you’ve prepared all you can.

Take your time and do your best; that’s all you can do.

I know you’ll try your hardest.

You’ve worked hard to get ready for this test.

Remember, the result of your test is not a reflection of you as a person.

Your test result feels important today. In the future, you won’t remember your grades, but you will remember how hard you worked for them.

We will never be disappointed in you. We know how hard you work.

If you try your hardest, you’ll get an A+ from me, no matter your test score.

This test is important, but your happiness is more important.

Don’t worry about failing the test. You’ll be a winner as long as you try your best.

A sick child needs to hear that this will pass and that you are not going anywhere. Keep the words short and calm, since a fever and broken sleep make long pep talks hard to follow.

I know it’s rough being sick, but you will get through this.

You’re strong. This illness will pass, and you will be stronger than ever.

Our love cannot make you better, but it can help you feel better. We give you all our love so you can feel as well as possible.

There is no need to worry. Everyone gets sick. Just listen to the doctor, and they will help your body get well again.

Even when you are sick, you manage to smile. I am so proud of you.

Being sick feels terrible, but it allows us to spend more time together, which is always wonderful.

Resting today will make you stronger tomorrow.

Doctors can seem scary, but they are here to help you get better.

I know you are worried about being sick right now. That’s normal. Just be sure to share your worries with me so I can help you.

Don’t feel you need to be strong right now to protect others. It is our job to take care of you, so you don’t need to put on a brave face.

Before a game, name the training your child has already put in and take the result off their shoulders. Say much the same things after a loss as after a win, so the message stays about effort rather than the scoreboard.

You are ready for this.

Your team’s result is not your responsibility alone.

You have worked hard for this moment; go out there and show them what hard work looks like.

Helping your team members is as important as practicing yourself.

Congratulations, all of your training has paid off. Does that hard work feel worth it?

You’ve trained hard for this, and you can be proud of your effort, regardless of the result.

How much I love you can never change. You do not have to win for me to love you more than I could ever tell you.

Your hard work and tenacity make you a winner, not your place on the podium.

You are an example to your friends and siblings. They all admire how you never give up.

The effort you put in is more important than winning.

What you just did made me so proud.

I admire your determination.

I could never have done what you just did. Your spirit is so inspiring.

Thank a child by naming the exact thing they did, so the thanks also describes the behavior you would like to see again. Kindness, honesty, and helping without being asked are all worth saying out loud.

It makes me smile when I see you being so kind.

Thank you for being you.

I am grateful that you are my child.

Thank you for sharing those thoughts with me.

It was very brave to do that, thank you.

Thank you for being so respectful. It means a lot to me.

I appreciate what a kind and thoughtful child you are.

Thank you for being a good brother/sister.

We are all thankful for your generosity.

Your teacher says you worked very hard. Thank you for making such an effort.

Thank you for always helping others.

Words that inspire a child point at progress the child can actually see: a skill that has improved, an idea they came up with, a hard thing they stayed with. Tie the line to something specific from this week rather than a general compliment.

Keep coming up with those creative ideas.

Look how much your hard work has paid off. You’ve done a fabulous job.

Never be afraid to try something new.

Your reading is really improving. That’s because you didn’t give up when there were words you did not know.

The stories you tell are so imaginative. I love where your imagination wanders.

Nobody is great at a new activity when they first begin. But by working hard, you can get even better.

Don’t give up when things get tough.

Be yourself and let the real you shine.

Being the same as everyone else is not important. Being a good person is.

You can make a difference.

Your artwork brightens up my day.

After a bad day, accept that the day was bad instead of arguing your child out of it. Once they feel believed, they are far more willing to talk about what actually went wrong.

Yes, today was a bad day. Let’s make tomorrow better.

Your day might have been bad, but that is not a reflection of you.

Know that whenever you have a bad day, I will still be here to love you.

We are here to help you.

You are not alone in this.

We all have bad days sometimes. Tell me about yours.

I am so proud of how you handled such a difficult day.

You are strong enough to get through this.

You are not responsible for everything that happens.

The things that went wrong today were not your fault.

You cannot make everyone happy. Don’t feel bad about that.

You’re home now. Would you like a hug?

What was bad about your day? If we can figure that out, we can figure out how to avoid the same thing happening again.

Encourage a struggling child by treating the difficulty and the mistakes as normal, then make it obvious you are available. Struggle is much easier to sit with when a child knows it was expected and is not a verdict on them.

This may seem difficult right now, but once you’ve worked through it, you’ll feel much better.

Stick with it; you’ll be glad you did.

I am proud of you for trying so hard.

Keep up the good work.

This will be worth it.

There’s nothing wrong with making mistakes.

Mistakes help us learn.

Everyone feels overwhelmed at some point. It doesn’t make you weak or a failure.

You can always come to me if you are struggling.

If you are struggling and it is making you unhappy, there is no shame in taking a break or giving up.

No matter what happens, I love you.

These general words of encouragement for kids fit an ordinary day, with no test, game, or crisis attached. Keep a few in rotation so your child hears them when nothing in particular has happened.

It’s OK to give up sometimes.

Life is not easy, but you are a loving person who is loved in return. That is the most important thing.

Being with you brightens my day.

You are a fabulous friend. _______ is lucky to have you there for them.

If I had to draw a picture of someone kind, I would draw a picture of you.

Do you know why animals like you so much? It’s because they can feel how kind you are.

There is nobody else in the world quite like you. I wish there were more of you.

You always know the right thing to do, and more importantly, you always do it.

Anyone can be the same as everyone else. It is courageous to be yourself.

Never feel embarrassed to stand out. Standing out is what makes you special.

Sometimes, it’s better to sit back and think than to jump in and act.

You cannot control other people, but you can control how they make you feel.

It is not your job to fix everyone’s problems. Sometimes, all you can do is be a good friend, and you are excellent at that.

When you feel lonely or scared, close your eyes and remember I am always there for you. You carry me in your heart, so you never have to be alone.

Nothing you can do could ever stop me from loving you.

You cannot change the past, but you do have some control over the future.

How other people treat you says more about them than it does about you.

Whoever you love is very lucky to have you feel that way about them.

I am grateful to have you as my child.

Proper encouragement provides specific, long-term benefits to your child’s development:

• Self-Belief: It teaches them to trust their own abilities.
• Character Building: It reinforces positive traits like kindness and tenacity.
• Relationship Skills: It lays the groundwork for positive future relationships.
• Motivation: It fuels the fire to keep trying when things get hard.
• Empathy: It models how words can positively impact others.

There is a catch. Shouting “Good job!” at everything delivers none of this, because a child cannot tell what earned it. The words have to describe what your child actually did, at the moment they did it.

Focus on Effort Over Results

If you focus strictly on achievement (like getting an A on a test), your child attaches their self-worth to that grade. When they eventually face a setback, they may view it as a personal failure.

Instead, praise their effort. Say things like, “I saw how hard you studied for that,” or “I love how you didn’t give up on that puzzle.” That hands your child a repeatable action rather than a label to protect.

The payoff arrives years later. In a study of 53 families, researchers recorded the praise parents actually used at home with children between 14 and 38 months of age ⁽¹⁾. The more of that praise aimed at effort and strategy, the more strongly those children believed ability grows with practice when the researchers came back 5 years later, at 7 to 8 years old. A further follow-up on the same children found the early effort praise also tracked with their math and reading comprehension scores in 4th grade ⁽²⁾.

Avoid Empty Praise

Too much praise can backfire. Constantly telling your child they are “so smart” or “the best artist” can build a fragile ego.

Inflated praise is especially risky for a child who already feels unsure. When researchers gave kids with low self-esteem exaggerated praise like “that’s an incredibly beautiful drawing,” those children went on to avoid challenges instead of taking them on, and their self-esteem slipped over time ⁽³⁾. “What may seem like common sense can sometimes lead adults astray in their attempts to help children with low self-esteem feel better about themselves,” said Eddie Brummelman, the study’s lead author, in the American Psychological Association’s announcement of the findings. If a child believes they are naturally “perfect,” they may stop trying because they think they shouldn’t have to work hard ⁽⁴⁾. Worse, when they struggle, they might hide it to protect that image. Keep your encouragement honest, specific, and tied to what they actually did.

FAQs

By shifting your focus from results to effort, you help build a foundation of self-esteem that isn’t easily shaken. That simple comment you make today, telling them you admire how they kept trying, might be the inner voice that guides them through a difficult challenge twenty years from now.